Time to sum up the year, I suppose. I’ll be ending it on a pitiful note: sick with Covid-19 and with my broken arm not yet healed. Thankfully, though, I am fully vaccinated and the symtoms so far are not worse than a bad cold. And I’m living in a family-like collective in a big house, so although New Years will be celebrated in quarantine, I will hardly be alone.
All in all, this year has brought some major ups, and some major downs. On the minus side: losing my darling cat Mizar when her chronic illness finally got the better of her. Getting exhausted by work and stress to the point where I had trouble sleeping and couldn’t keep up my physically demanding job. Losing my job as a postman. Getting hit by a van and thus breaking some bones and losing my dear Tiger. Catching Covid-19.
The ups, though, have been spectacular. Moving in with my partner and their kids into a bigger collective in a big house, in a quiet place close to some actual woods. Feeling at home in my body for the first time in as long as I can remember. Getting a motorcycle driver’s licence, and having a summer of adventures on my Tiger. Travelling to Denmark, France and the Netherlands to see friends and to have mind-opening experiences. Making progress in my meditation practice. With some help from friends: leveled up my motorcyle-mechanic skills, renovated my room and built a new bed from old parts. Throwing actual parties. Going to weddings. Finding a new job at the hospital. Benefiting from the Wim Hof Method. Finding a co-author in my youngest bonus-kid, and writing an epic advent calendar together. Finding my way back to poetry.
This year has been one hell of a roller-coaster ride, that’s for sure. Despite that, I don’t know if I’ve ever felt as grounded as I do now. Sudden changes and big emotions don’t throw me off balance as much as they used to do. I may have acquired that trust in life that I’ve been craving for so long. Or maybe, actually, an anchor of sorts. You know who you are, should you happen to read this.
After a ride as wild as this year has provided, it feels odd to pronounce any hopes or resolutions for the next one. I’ll be grateful enough if I get to survive it and keep my beloved in my life. But if I get to aspire to something more than that, it will be this: let me make this year a poetic year.
So throw off your stupid cloak
Embrace all that you fear
For joy shall conquer all despair
In my Blakean year
Love and cheers,
Winterdragon
