Here I was bracing for yet another indefinite period of pain and uncertainty. Exhausted and anxiety-ridden, for the first time I seriously considered actually accepting my doctor’s offer of happy-pills (or mood stabilisers or whatever… I’ve always been terrified of the stuff). Not as a permanent solution, but to…
Tag: In English
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Transgender Day of Visibility
Transgender Day of Visibility has rolled around again, and seeing as we still have a long way to go before trans people have the respect, freedom and safety we deserve, I have a message to declare. It’s not a rant this time, not really. To spare the feelings of possible…
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The Oldest Living Things in the World
Life is hard, again. A sure sign of that is how much I read, since the number of books read seems to correlate directly with the levels of stress I experience. As far as coping strategies go, I can think of worse ones. I might be constantly tired from…
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In memory of a loved one
This is a memorial for Mizar, my companion for the past eleven years. She had to be put down a couple of weeks ago after her chronic kidney failure finally got the better of her. There are a thousand cute, funny, weird and wonderful things I could tell you about…
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I survived 2020, and all I got was this lousy blog post
Happy new year, dear readers! What a year it’s been. We’ve very palpably been in it together, haven’t we? Do you have anyting, personally, to be proud of? Anything you’ve learned? Most of my endeavours (acquiring a motorcycle driver’s licence, finish editing my book, learning to do a hand-stand, to…
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When life hands you lemons, write. And make cake.
I just realised that throughout the entire year, I haven’t written a single word about the current pandemic. (Not that I’ve blogged an awful lot to begin with, but still.) It’s not like it hasn’t affected me. I’m currently an essential worker, so it has meant a lot of overtime…
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Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Manouvering
I wasn’t going to write about this publicly until I succeeded. Until I had a result to show the world, a jubilant proof that persistence and hard work pays off in the end. Now that I’ve failed, that seems kind of stupid. Wouldn’t it just feed the social media thing…
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The shape of inspiration
I think I felt a spark of inspiration today. Perhaps it was the light of evening sky against a foreground of trees. Perhaps it was the coldness of the waterfall shocking me awake. Perhaps it was the softness of skin half-hidden beneath last year’s fallen leaves. Whatever shape it took,…
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Violent thoughts
How often do you think about violence? I do it often. The only thing I spend more time thinking about is probably sex. I never talk about it. Sometimes I write about it. I am not a violent person and I do not self-harm. I’m about as pacifist as hippies…
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Resignation
Painting by Clive Barker Happiness consists of getting enough sleep. Just that, nothing more. — Robert Heinlein (Starship Troopers) Why is it so easy to open up a gateway to the void inside? One minute you’re calm and full of sunshine and so fucking on top of things, the next…